Feeling anxiety, pressure, or nervousness during sports and performances can feel like quite the nuisance, and so it makes sense to ask, “How do I stop worrying?” or “How do I rid myself of performance anxiety?”  After all, if anxiety is seemingly interfering with my ability to throw a ball or to run at my full effort, why not try to get rid of it? But consider this…  Imagine you got your wish!  You found a magic wand, you waved it, and POOF, your anxiety was gone!  Pretty amazing, right?!  So when you show up to compete the next day, how do you think you would be performing? You might say, “I’d be doing everything that I wanted to do! Nothing would get in my way.  I’d be taking more shots, taking more risks.  I’d be running my heart out.”  In short, you’d probably expect that you would be playing like you’ve always dreamed of.  You’d be unstoppable! But would you? Again, imagine that ALL your anxiety was gone.  The magic wand didn’t take away a little or some of your anxiety.  It took ALL of it!  There is no trace of any anxiety or pressure inside your head.  Nada!  Zilch!  It’s outta here! If that were the case, you would likely be competing as if you have woken up from a gentle ocean breeze, on a sunny beach while on vacation.  You wouldn’t be focused.  You wouldn’t have much motivation or drive to move, and if you did move, it would likely be quite leisurely.  You would be feeling so relaxed, probably too relaxed. Therefore, you wouldn’t have a care in the world.  You wouldn’t be trying hard or putting forth any meaningful effort to achieve anything. Performance Anxiety Serves a Purpose Remember that anxiety is present when you are competing for a reason.  At least in moderation, anxiety hones focus, tells us what to pay attention to, gives us energy to act, and shows us what we care about, like sports or performing our best!  Anxiety doesn’t typically show up because there’s something wrong with you.  It’s there for an important reason. Don’t get me wrong.  At very high levels, anxiety can become disruptive and distracting.  However, it’s important to remember that anxiety likely didn’t just increase on its own; anxiety typically increases from us fighting with it, judging it, and trying to eliminate it, when we’re not supposed to do that in the first place.  The more we fight or run away from anxiety, the bigger and louder it becomes. Better Questions to Ask So instead of asking “How do I rid myself of performance anxiety?” perhaps more helpful questions to ask are, How can I learn to accept anxiety? How can I make space for it? What role or purpose is anxiety trying to offer right now? How can I coexist with it, and not treat it like it’s my enemy? When you practice willingness to accept anxiety and understand that its intention isn’t to harm or ruin your life, anxiety is still there and it can still feel uncomfortable, but it’s not as loud, distressing, and interfering as before.  You spend less time on the field, the track, or the court, focusing all your attention on how to eliminate anxiety, and instead, you’re able to redirect that focus back to the competition and the important details needed to perform. Tips to Practice Accepting Performance Anxiety The next time you notice Performance Anxiety, practice these tips: Say “Hello” to anxiety Just like you might say “hello” to a neighbor as you walk down the street.  Saying “hello” is your way of showing courtesy and respect to your neighbor, and doing the same to anxiety, can help change how you may be relating to it. Treat anxiety with decency rather than like a monster that you conquer or run away from. Normalize or understand why anxiety is allowed to be here.  Recognize what anxiety is trying to do to help you perform. Examples: Anxiety is here to help me focus Anxiety is here to increase my motivation and drive Anxiety is here because I am challenging myself to accomplish a difficult task Anxiety is here to protect me and my performance Anxiety is here because I care deeply about how I perform Make space for it If you can recognize that anxiety has a purpose for being present, practice allowing or making room for it in your mind and body. Take a deep breath in, and as you breathe out, say in your mind: I can allow for anxiety to be here I can make space for anxiety I know this can sound scary and counterintuitive, but recognize that doing the opposite, pushing it away or fighting with it, isn’t helping.  Again, remember that anxiety isn’t the problem, fighting with it is. Note: Forcing yourself to make space or say these phrases are not likely to help.  In order to be effective, making space and allowing needs to come from a place of genuine willingness. Performance anxiety and pressure are uncomfortable but essential parts of maximizing performance.  Remember that the mere presence of performance anxiety isn’t the problem.  The problem is fighting with it.  Don’t treat it like your opponent, and rather, treat it like your teammate, who can be a little annoying at times, but is ultimately there to help you. -Dr. Yu ------------------------------------------ Alexander "Brian" Yu, Ph.D., CMPC is a Licensed Psychologist, Sport Psychologist, and Owner of Prevail Performance Counseling PLLC, based in Northern Virginia (Burke, VA). Prevail Performance Counseling PLLC provides counseling and mental performance training to adolescents, adults, athletes, non-athletes, performers, and organizations. 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“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James Your mind is one of your most powerful tools. It helps you plan, think, and achieve your goals. However, the mind can also be one of your greatest bullies. It may tell you what you can’t do, how you’re always doing something wrong, and that you’re never good enough. It’s like this heckler in the stands you can’t ignore. Well, maybe the solution to this isn’t to ignore your mind but to change your relationship with the thoughts your mind throws at you. Often times unhelpful thoughts are most damaging when you take them too literally, when we put them up on pedestals and treat them as if they are mandates or dictums. What if thoughts really aren’t as lofty or serious as we might make them? Your thoughts are composed of language and so essentially they are words on paper. Look at this thought for example: “I can’t do this.” When you look at this thought on your screen, what do you literally see? It’s a bunch of words. If we break down a word, what is that composed of? Letters. If we break-down letters, what are they made up of? Sounds, like “ah, vuh, buh, eee, and zee.” Also, letters are basically a collection of lines and curves. Think of the letter “t” for example. How do you draw a letter “t”? Make 2 lines that cross. That’s it! So at the end of the day, our thoughts are basically just a bunch of lines and curves put together in arbitrary ways. Think about that for a second… "thoughts are basically just a bunch of lines and curves put together in arbitrary ways." We’re allowing ourselves to get heckled and bullied by nothing more than a bunch of lines and curves. What does that tell you about your thoughts and the perceived power they may have over you? Perhaps, our thoughts don't need to be as omnipotent as we make them out to be? Thoughts get their power by the meaning we attach to them. So if we can learn to attach meaning to thoughts (or words), we can also learn to change that meaning. So when you notice yourself having unhelpful thoughts that are interfering, remember what they truly are at their core… lines and curves… and work on treating them with less seriousness, and even treating them with a good dose of silliness! Here’s one way to do that. Imagine an unhelpful thought that resonates with you, as if the thought was written out on a piece of paper. Now, you may have defaulted to viewing the thought written out in black ink. Try changing the font color of your thought to blue… green… tangerine… hot pink… or rainbow colors. Now, try changing the actual font of the thought… imagine it in Times New Roman… now Comic Sans… now imagine the thought is in a font you would see in a children’s fairy tale book… now a comic book… now a cartoon show. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. After doing this, take a moment now to see how you are relating to your original thought. Does the thought still have the same effect on you as before? You may find that simply changing the font or the color of your thought can help you remember that your thoughts are just words (lines and curves). Also, this brief exercise may remind you that just as you have the ability to view your thoughts with terror and doom, you can also cultivate an ability to view them as non-intimidating, lighthearted, and silly. Strive to treat your thoughts flexibly rather than literally, and once you have loosened your grip on them, practice letting them go like a bubble or a passing car, especially if they are not helping you. “Use your mind, don’t let your mind use you.” - Unknown Note: This exercise was inspired and adapted from Dr. Russ Harris. - Dr. Yu Learn more about Dr. Yu